2:12 on a Monday morning, and I am typing my first blog post on my phone, while lying on the couch in the dark, wishing I was sleeping.


Why is a guy like me writing a blog? Because there are a lot of guys like me, who wonder, "Am I the only one like me?"


Am I the only one who wishes I had achieved more this weekend? No.


Am I the only one who struggles to talk with his wife about things that really matter? No.


Am I the only one who worries about raising his teenage son? No.


Am I the only one who wonders what his friends really think of him? Or, if he actually has any real friends? No. (At least, I hope not.)


Switching to a full-size keyboard in the kitchen...


I am the kind of guy who is inclined to look up the rules for blogging, which is pretty ridiculous, but if you know me you'll just smile and say, "Yep, that's Clay." I am the kind of guy who worries about doing things the right way; I should just worry about doing things, or maybe stop worrying all together.


I've often fancied myself a mildly-talented writer, and I've tried my hand a little. Then, I read some work by some friends. Why bother doing something, when someone else is obviously doing it so much better than you ever could? Have you read the title of this blog?


If you look up the word laconic in the dictionary, my picture will be found. (Insert piece here regarding the proper way to format references to words in dictionaries. Screw it.)


"...a minimum of words, to the point of seeming rude..." That's me.


However, a minimum of words does not mean a minimum of thoughts. My hope in this blog is that I will share some of my thoughts with you, and that you will enjoy them. I hope to be brave enough to do it, and consistent enough to repeat the process.


So, how do we define this blog? Most of the words in the title are significant, and the most painful one might be the word 'just.' As in 'just do it.' Or 'just a loser.' We humans are often so careless with our choice of words, that we cause incredible pain to those around us. As a father, I know this to be true. We rarely recognize how our loved ones are thirsty to hear from us, and we often leave them high and dry with a lack of words, or worse, a choice of words that cause pain. 'Just leave me alone.' 'Can't you just...oh, forget it.' 'He's just  _______.' I visualize just in this context as two hands, holding someone under water, until they are desperate for air. Maybe it is a word best left out of the sentence, or better yet, maybe a sentence left unspoken. The beauty of English is that just has other meanings that I love.


Just in this context implies a feeling of inadequacy, of low expectations, of one of the last acceptable groups that it is acceptable to bash in sitcoms, etc. the modern American father. I use the word just intentionally in the title, to draw attention to how the word is used, and hopefully in this blog I will be able to show you that average white guys are often anything but.